The Virtue of Forgiveness

“To err is human, to forgive is divine.”

I have heard this saying so much it’s practically ingrained in my brain. When you’ve been hurt, it can be challenging to forgive. Some people even say that most victims find it easier not to overlook. It’s human to be resentful and angry with those who have hurt us. Holding onto that pain and anger is like a security blanket. Sadly, that security blanket is a slow killer. To truly move past the pain, we must forgive.

Forgiveness is actively overcoming the feeling of resentment or revenge for the person who has done wrong actions. How and when you chose to forgive is relative. Some of us take longer than others to tap out of the negative emotions. Also, some people feel like one action is more unforgivable than another. Others may feel like forgiving that person may encourage the wrongdoer to be offensive repeatedly. There may be times where the transgression is so severe that it causes a person to think differently about someone, never being able to forget what they did to them.

Putting yourself in place to forgive is incredibly crucial to your psyche. It is never easy to forgive someone who has wronged you in some way. People don’t forget betrayal, but forgiveness is still mandatory. It is especially hard to forgive someone if what they have done has immensely hurt you emotionally or physically. Forgiving is not weak and doesn’t make you look like a doormat. This act symbolizes love for yourself.

If you are being forgiven for something you did, be sure to SHOW why you deserve forgiveness. Asking for and being bestowed mercy is just step one. Show how grateful you are for being forgiven by involving the forgiving party. Words are powerful, but actions say so much more. Holding back forgiveness leads to more pain for us than the offender, and the practice of forgiveness is not a one-shot deal; it is a life-long discipline.

#MeToo

Every morning I wake up to the news. It’s difficult not to begin my day without Robin Roberts, George Stephanopoulos, Michael Strahan and the rest of the “Good Morning America” family. I wouldn’t describe myself as a “news junkie” yet I still find it important to stay abreast on current events. Between our local news stations in Oklahoma City and the reports coming in from around the world, there are certain stories that stick with you. Amidst the deadly hurricanes and intractable wildfires (my thoughts and prayers are with the victims), the exposing of Hollywood film producer and movie magnate, Harvey Weinstein, and his history of sexual abuse have me reeling.

Some of Hollywood’s most revered actresses have gone public accusing Weinstein of sexual assault. Social media has erupted with think-pieces and emotional confessions from sexual assault victims using the tending topic “#MeToo”, a campaign started by Youth activist Tarana Burke in 2007. America Ferrara, Gabrielle Union, Rose McGowan, Angelina Jolie and a host of other A-List actresses have broken their silence on sexual abuse and the effect it has on women and children. These revelations are so powerful and inspiring that I’m seeing stories shared from friends and family on Facebook.

img_1653-1
Actress and author, Gabrielle Union, has been transparent about surviing sexaul abuse. She shares this and more in her book “We’re Going To Need More Wine“.

The stories being revealed by sexual assault survivors about their abusers are harrowing. Ever since the scandal surrounding Harvey Weinstein came to light, the floor for this conversation has been opened. Many women, and men, have been shamed or threatened into keeping a secret that they don’t want to keep. Sexual abuse, assault and exploitation happen every day to people of all ages, races, and gender. According to Twitter, the #MeToo hashtag has been used over 825,000 times since Sunday.

Sunday, Actress Alyssa Milano tweeted:

a4s_milano101717a_20187749_8col

She couldn’t have been more right. The confessions haven’t ceased since. When I’m listening to the radio, it’s the first topic of conversation. Have we looked over sexual abuse for so long that we’ve turned a blind eye and ear to it?

Sexual violence is an epidemic we must take more earnestly as a society. Acknowledging and understanding sexual assault is the first step toward working to end it. The list of effects of sexual violence has on a survivor are endless. We can advance towards a future where this reality ceases to be. Our community’s ethical/moral principles should be evolving toward paying growing attention to the emotional aftereffects of all sexual encounters.

Save Classen Circle

The history of the Donnay Building stretches far beyond my 29 years of life. The building was commissioned by architect and its namesake, Matt Donnay, in 1948. Over the years, this landmark became home to many well-known establishments like the Patio Restaurant, the Drunken Fry, and the fabulous Hi Lo Club. Sadly, just a few months ago Braum’s announced their plan to demolish the iconic Donnay Building and the building where Classen Grill is located. Many Oklahomans are outraged and are doing everything they can to counter this plan.

Braums
The Classen Circle at NW 50th and Classen Blvd. in Oklahoma City, Okla. on Wednesday, July 12, 2017. Photo by Chris Landsberger, The Oklahoman

In July, protestors gathered in front of the Donnay Building to protest. Generations of people showed up. I have read accounts from people who ate at the Patio Restaurant and others who have had their first drink at the Hi Lo Club. I absolutely love Classen Grill. The food is delicious and the staff is always welcoming. I had no idea that they’ve been operating there since 1980! I have passed through Classen Circle all my life and I always wondered why the ugly building in the middle was so popular. As an adult, I have enjoyed Classen Circle favorites like Edna’s, SpeakEasy, and of course, the Hi Lo Club.

A good friend of mine introduced me to the Hi Lo Club last year. I had never heard of the place, but I really enjoyed myself and met some pretty awesome people. Soon after I learned that the Hi Lo Club is more than an average “hole-in-the-wall”. This establishment has served as a place of refuge for LGBT individuals since 1956 and is historic to the entire OKC community. To wipe away something so special to so many people is unethical and contemptible. To make matters worse, there is another Braum’s that already exists on NW 17th and Classen, less than ten minutes up the street from the Donnay Building! How many Braum’s locations do we need? The food really isn’t THAT good and they always seem to be out of Butter Pecan and Rocky Road!

I’m asking all of you reading this to help us save the Donnay Building and Classen Circle. This space means a lot to so many people in our community, especially those who work there. So many compassionate and hard-working people would lose their jobs and plenty of warm memories. Braum’s isn’t going anywhere, and I don’t believe we need yet ANOTHER location here in Oklahoma City.

For more information on how you can help save this historical landmark visit facebook.com/SaveClassenCircle. I will also provide information on my Facebook page facebook.com/LandonsViewsOn, as well. Or you can contact Braum’s directly at 405-478-1656 or send a message at www.braums.com/contact-us/general.

Who Wants To Be A College Graduate Anyway?

Job hunting is a daunting task, especially when you need one in a hurry. Presently, I’m looking for a job. Preferably a day job with good hours, friendly co-workers, and an exceptional benefits package. I’ve written professionally for thirteen years. Seriously, since the tender age of thirteen I’ve been blessed to have my own column in my local newspaper. I wouldn’t call it a job since I’m not being paid for it, but I love to do it. If I could do what I’m doing now and make money doing it, that would make my entire life. What’s the problem? I don’t have a degree.

Most people will tell you that a college degree isn’t necessary to get a good job. That is true in some cases, but in others you absolutely need that paper. College is expensive and is extremely time-consuming. A lot of students (myself included) have questioned whether it’s even worth it to go to college. In my opinion, it is absolutely worth it.There are plenty of skills that we learn in college that aid us in navigating the real world,

In my case, I dropped out of college after five years of struggle. I wasn’t motivated and I despised those General Study courses. I just wanted to write, I couldn’t understand why the hell I needed math and science to be successful in the world of journalism. None of it made sense to me. All of my friends were going to class and actually passing while I was constantly playing catch up. After dropping out twice, I decided I was fed up with college life, it was time to integrate into society.

After about two years of working dead-end jobs and making excuses for not completing school, I had my light-bulb moment. All of those “extra for no reason” classes were much-needed. Writing is my passion and I want to be the best at what I love to do. You can’t be a good writer if you don’t know much of  anything. To be the best in any industry, it’s best to be well-rounded and knowledgeable on multiple things. I despised math in college, but I need it for when I’m doing business. Think about it. Would you rather have knowledge of accounting for yourself? Or would you rather put all of your trust in an accountant that could potentially screw you over?

I understand that college isn’t for everyone and that’s okay. There are plenty of other great ways to give to society and be successful without obtaining a college degree. This piece is for that struggling college student who can’t see the pot of gold that’s at the end of the rainbow.  If you’re having difficulty in a certain subject, the best thing you can do for yourself is to let someone know. My biggest regret is telling myself that I was incapable of learning something I didn’t understand. We’re so much more than we give ourselves credit for, even if we aren’t aware of it yet.

My story is the same story for a lot of students and dropouts. Fortunately, it’s never too late to start over. I’m going back to college because I want to learn everything about journalism and writing. Math and science be damned, I will graduate and I will have a job that I love. I challenge any one struggling or putting off going back to college to take on that mindset. Especially if you’re tired of working dead-end jobs. Nothing worth having comes easy. Stay encouraged and see the bigger picture. It’s impossible for you to know everything. Put your pride aside and open yourself up to other like-minded people. Life will amaze you once you start living it.

Good Luck!

o-COLLEGE-STRESS-facebook